To My Fellow Americans ~
Why are you doing this to us? The more I reach out to you, the more you push me away, and I can't make any sense of the world on my own. It seems like you only care about yourself, and that truly hurts. After everything that we've been through, I just can't believe that you treat me like you do. Is this the end? Are we over? Even though you say our separation won’t happen, the way you’ve treated me, especially lately, certainly proves otherwise.
I guess I should have seen our demise coming.
The other day you walked right by me. Talking on your cell phone, head down, really intent on the pressing business that required your immediate attention, you didn’t bother to look up to notice that I was the one holding the door open for you as you rushed past. I guess since we’ve been together for so long that you just expect me to pull random acts of kindness like that. I realize that it’s only the gentlemanly thing to do, and it’s just what men are supposed to do for women. I still felt slighted, though.
Is it something that I’ve done to make you so callous?
I often think about the way things used to be between us: the camaraderie...the community...the fellowship. It’s those minute details that I miss so much: the eye contact we used to make as we happened along one another on the streets; the smile from across the room when we would randomly make eye contact; even just the simple Hellos we would casually say to one another when we crossed each other’s path. Those were the subtle aspects that I treasured about our relationship that I treasured. I thrived on the idea that we were all in this thing together, a unified mass of humanity trying to improve everyone’s way of life. Now, your ears are constantly filled with your IPod’s headphones, we avoid even making eye contact much less smile at one another, and I’m lucky if I just receive a complimentary head nod from you when I see you. What a stark contrast to when you were first courting me!
Don’t you miss the way we used to be together?
Remember that September day when we sat on the couch with our precious family, huddled around the television watching someone’s venegeful acts bring tragedy and heartache right into our living room and onto our front porches. Do you recall how I cradled my 1-month-old daughter in my arms, my tears dripping onto her tiny digits wrapped tightly around my pinky finger? I was utterly shocked and dismayed: what kind of a world was I bringing her into? A place where heartless vigilantes create missiles out of airplanes and launch them into the sides of American landmarks filled with innocent lives?
I wanted to give up right then, but you restored my faith.
The rest of that day I watched you. When you went back into those burning buildings to aid those in need, I saw. As you gave blood at the local American Red Cross, I too observed. After you left the safety of your own milieu and traveled to aid in the rescue and recovery of far too many victims, I took notice. For the next few months, I deeply felt a connection between the two of us, and I know you felt it too. Surviving great tragedy will bring people together, and it certainly did with us.
What happened to that feeling?
The end is near; I can sense it. I don’t want it to be over. Sure, my life will go on without you, and I’ll learn to survive without you in it. Unfortunately, life is not meant to be lived alone. That’s why there are soul mates, and partners, and lovers, and friends. Believe me when I tell you that I want this situation to be different from what it is. Even though some people think I should just give up, I won’t. I’ll keep holding the door open for you; I will still let you cut in front of me in traffic; and I won’t stop looking into your face and eyes when you pass. One of these days you are going to look up and realize what you’ve been missing. Hopefully, my random acts of kindness and my general empathy for those around me will be contagious, and that positivity will multiply infinitesimally. All you have to do is give us a chance.
Much love,
Your Fellow Citizen
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