Shut the ****** up.

There are certain types of people that have an uncanny ability to bring pain to the ears of many. Some of us are unfortunate enough to encounter them on a daily basis. The people I am referring to are the people who seem to curse more than they breathe. Quite remarkable, really, seeing as the average person says 16,000 words per day; with the “excessive cursers” it sounds like at least 4,000 of those spoken words are profanities.

Cursing itself is not bad a bad thing, however the time/place most people use profanity is highly inappropriate, completely unnecessary, and makes the person look like a buffoon. 

Yes, there are some acceptable reasons to spew a string of expletives from your mouth. Cursing helps release rage in a way that requires little/no thought in order to obtain instant relief. Sometimes expletives may be the only logical response in a situation: if someone were to be in a losing fight with a crocodile, the first words to pop into his/her mind wouldn’t be “Oh dear.”

  “It appears you have bested me, noble crocodile.”

                  

Forgetting to turn in a 5 point worksheet, however, is an absurd excuse to drop the “F-bomb” over and over again.  I once heard a girl in my fifth hour say the “F” word 10 times in a sentence because she forgot about a worksheet that was due two days from then. It wasn’t due in five seconds, but two days. It wasn’t a 5 page essay that would determine whether she would go to college or not, it was a 5 point worksheet that had no effect on her future. There were so many other wonderful words she could have chosen, but no. She chose to make a non-important moment as dramatic as possible. If curse words are going to be used, make sure that the situation is appropriate.

An acceptable time to spew many curses would be when an alligator is attempting to enter your home and eat you.  It would be perfectly okay for one to say things like “Why the ***** is there a *** gator at the backdoor?! Does it want our money? Are they ***** evolving?! Kill it! Kill it!”

   They know where you live.  

A not acceptable time is when you forgot about a worksheet. The point becomes lost when so many expletives are used. There are a myriad of better words to use to describe something. Invest in a dictionary. Please. For the sake of everybody else’s ears.

Cursing is not only unnecessary (for the most part), but also gives others the impression that you don’t have a full vocabulary. When the same words are used over and over again, the speaker loses the illusion of creativity. Example: “That *** idiot *** up my project! Wow I **** hate that *** *****.” People get bored hearing sentences like this. Sure, the cursing displays that you’re angry (or that you have a nasty cursing habit), but why not have a little fun proclaiming your rage?

Example: “That insufferable fool! He annihilated everything I have spent my life striving to achieve! I wholeheartedly despise that creature that calls himself a man!” This sentence shows some creativity and thought instead of just spewing a bunch of overused words from the mouth. Saying weird, dramatic phrases like this also has the ability to cheer you up when you say them. Try it.

There’s a time and place for everything. A typical public setting is not the best place to be spouting a load of vulgarities. During school is not a good time to talk about how "effed up" your weekend was. Surrounded by war veterans is definitely not a proper time to whine "I chose the wrong blue nail polish! FML!” Choose words carefully. Many words will offend certain types of people; many others will just aggravate people to no end.

Let’s recap: if it’s during a moment of intense pain or you’ve just received horrible news (or you’re fighting gators), by all means, go ahead and curse. It’ll do you good.  People won't lose respect for someone if they're cursing because they're being mauled by a bear. People will lose respect for someone when they say FML over and over again over a wrong nail polish choice or when they curse in highly inappropriate places. If you can’t think of appropriate words to say, read the dictionary. There are over 250,000 words for a reason, people.